Friday, July 17, 2009

A Modest Proposal to Restore Fiscal Sanity

As President Obama has said, our current level of spending is unsustainable. With the addition of another $1.6 Trillion in spending to cover an additional 10 million Americans who don't have health insurance our debt is presently set to double in the next ten years. Adding in the anticipated costs of the Baby Boomer Generation retirements that will completely drain the Social Security and Medicare accounts, and the Nation will become nothing more than a set of indentured servants to our Chinese bond holders.
The time for action is now! We cannot wait for some fanciful plan to solve our pending economic crisis. In fact, those who deny the problems of so much unbridled spending are obviously traitors to our country and should be prosecuted as such and hung from the highest trees of the land. I for one, will not just stand by and let these debt deniers with their false belief system in the effectiveness of government continue to hold sway over the levers of governance. No, my fellow citizens, we must take bold and positive steps to solve this problem, and I have just a solution:
Kill the Baby Boomers.
Now, at first glance, this may seem too radical, but there is ample precedent and logic behind my proposal as I am sure you will soon see. Baby Boomers got us into this fiscal mess. After all, aren't most of the people who run Wall Street Baby Boomers? Have they not been instrumental in driving the direction of federal spending and taxation levels that have only benefited themselves to the detriment of subsequent generations? And now, having destroyed the finances of this country, they are going to enter retirement drawing Social Security in numbers that will require three workers to support each retiree with their taxes. And for what? In retirement, do they really provide more value to the country, or do they simply draw off more resources that would be better used by the productive members of our country. The Boomers fanatical focus on health and long life are going to result in a significant number living well past 100 years of age. In other words, many of them will live longer than they actually worked and paid in towards the taxes that went to their retirement under Social Security.
Many may think that I am being cruel and heartless, and nothing could be further from the truth. I am not suggesting that we should immediately terminate all of the Baby Boomers. Instead, the humane approach would be to give each of them a decent period of time (I would propose five years) in which they could enjoy their retirement, then on the fifth anniversary of their retirement, they would report to an appropriate, government run facility, (sort of like the one in Soylent Green) where they would be lovingly cared for in a clean pleasant and reassuring environment and then administered an appropriate cocktail of drugs that will allow them to peacefully pass away in their sleep.
Some may say that this is too harsh, but is it really? After all, with retirement coming at age 65 or later, depending on your birth year, can you really say that they haven't had more than enough life already? How much more do they need to have, and isn't it just a product of our capitalist society that they would be so greedy as to continue to cling to life even after they are beyond doing anything useful for the rest of society? I say it's time to end these greedhead's control of our country and return that control back to the rightful hands of the producers.
Perhaps you would argue that my plan is illegal. Ah, but there you would be wrong. After all, we use the same methods for determining that the rich have too much money and don't need it. Why is it any different from some aging codger clinging to life support? In fact, the Boomer doing everything to prolong his or her life simply consumes needed resources that could be better used elsewhere, while the rich that we tax at higher rates could at least invest the money in businesses to promote healthier economies for the world.
My plan is becoming more and more feasible every day. As the Baby Boomer generation can no longer be added to, it is shrinking and with it their political clout as well. Eventually, it won't be that hard to have a sufficient majority of right thinking Americans who will recognize that this is the only solution to our economic demise. In fact, I think that a significant number of Boomers using their heightened sense of social conscience would also agree that this proposal is imminently reasonable.
And I even have the appropriate slogan to make all of this happen: "It's for the children!"


Mark T. said...

You know where I stand on equality, Steve. Everyone is equal but the fact that everyone has a different lifespan is wrong. That’s another outgrowth of capitalism because rich people can afford to live longer than poor people.

I’m all in favor of your plan. It’s just a matter of getting the legislation rubber stamped by Obama before anyone has the chance to read it.

Anonymous said...

Yep, that plan will work. Is it selfish of me to wonder what you would do with us who are older than the boomers and are already past that cut off date? Do we go all at once or will there be a lottery or do we get to go on until we croak or natural causes?
Senior Blonde

Auntie Lib said...

Actually, the Democrats were planning on introducing this as an amendment to the healthcare plan. They just hadn't worked out whether Medicare or Social Security was going to pay for the drugs used to off the Boomers. There's still some actuarial concern that those two programs may become insolvent before the problem has been solved.

Steve said...

Anon - You older generations are safe because yours was "The Greatest Generation" as opposed to us "The Lamest Generation."
There are other benefits as well. For instance, you wouldn't have to plan for your retirement beyond five years. Plus, your kids could do better financial planning because they would know when they would come into their inheritance.

Auntie- Maybe we could give a bonus to those who would be willing to off themselves early?

Rocky Smith said...

My biggest objection is that I'll need to start going directly to the farm for meat so I'm sure what it is. I assume you'll call boomers those born before 1960? That'll do since I'm vintage '61.

Steve said...

Ah, a true afficianado of Charlton Heston films.